“No, don’t play with the drums. Learn to behave when you are out”.
“Mum can I go to play”? – No, not now.
“No, you can’t go out on your own”.
Parents often say NO instantaneously without taking a moment to give their child’s request a thought. The habit of saying NO is so powerful that they often miss to see how destructive it is for the development of their child.
It’s very important as a parent to understand that children are born curious and they enjoy exploring things around them. Thus, they would touch things that they shouldn’t and want to try things that we wish they would try to avoid.
During such circumstances we have to tell them a no to protect them. But constant no can discourage their curiosity and their sheer interest to learn.
I completely understand that the no often comes up when you feel that a thing or circumstance is unsafe for your child.
And as a parent exercising a little control and discipline is very much essential but the problem arises when we constantly say no without giving any explanation or allowing kids to be kids.
But if the no is followed up by a reason or explanation, it helps them to understand your reasoning. For example, “No baby. Don’t touch that glassware because it’s breakable and if it breaks, it could be injurious”.
So, now the child understands the statement as – “If I touch this, it would break and I could get hurt”.
Rather than thinking – “I am doing something wrong”.
So, when kids are provided with a clear understanding of the reason for the denial of their curiosity, then they don’t take it personally, assuming that ‘they are bad’ or that ‘they are wrong’. Instead, they now have more information and learning for the future.
As Jess Lair brilliantly quotes, “Children are not things to be moulded, but people to be unfolded ”