30 Memories As I Turn 30.

I woke up to my wife’s beautiful smile on my birthday. But I didn’t greet her with the same big, warm smile. Stepping into the 30’s club all of a sudden seemed so awkward.

I knew the numbers would keep increasing as the years would pass, but the one thing that’s quick to advise but hard to follow and that’s ACCEPTANCE.

But as I share my anxiousness and fear of growing old, I’m given a few strong inspirations from my friends and family.

To look at the brighter side of life with more experiences in my bucket.

Age is just a number. Living life is a choice.

Thirty is NO dirty.

Retirement is coming soon.

I thank them all who cheered me up and wished me luck and blessed me with their love and affection. So I thought how do I make this 30 that’s making me feel old make me feel young?

I reminisced about my childhood days. Images after images kept scrolling in front of my eyes. Memories making me feel pumped again, memories of embarrassment, memories of school and college, memories with my lovely sister, memories of childhood pranks.

Oh boy! The list can keep going. And as I’m soaking in those memories in my ME time, I thought it would be great to pen a few best ones down to share the stories with my little son when he grows big.

  1. 4th grade – The first crush. Oh God, I still remember collecting every item that she would touch whilst we were doing a science project together and I had them stored in small boxes in a secret place for almost 4 years. And I finally threw them all away when I realized how silly I was being. Time to move on.
  2. 2nd grade – I was drawing a birthday card for my mother in the class, writing boldly – I LOVE YOU MOM. So a girl comes up to me and says, “I love the card, can you please make one for me”. I right away agreed and but then I realized she can’t be my mum, so what do I now. I replaced the MOM with her name only to be caught by the teacher and to be called upon by the principal to bring my parents the next day.
  3. Nursery – My mom dressed me in a grey suit for the school annual day program. As I was walking proudly on the road with my head held high and holding my mom’s hand. I missed seeing a small pothole filled with rainwater and thus, landing my face right into it.
  4. 8th grade – I was dared by a friend if I could copy using micro xerox chits during the exam. I wasn’t a guy to say no for an answer. I found a xerox shop very close to my house and my heart pounded while I gave him the book with the marked pages, fearing he might inform my parents. The greedy shopkeeper never informed but the thrill of copying using those chits lasted for almost a term.
  5. 8th grade – I walked into a new restaurant to get some idli’s packed for my sister. The restaurant was extremely busy and I asked a man standing close to the counter to pack me three idlis. He ignored and muttered something under his breath and I lost my cool and shouted at him. He punched me right on my nose to only let me know that he was also a customer waiting for his delivery just like me.
  6. 10th grade – I had safely placed a letter of my girlfriend between the pages of my Maths book to only find it missing when I reached school the next day. I began sweating, fearing that it would reach the hands of the teachers if I had misplaced it. With fear making me paranoid, I reached home and found my dad very polite, extremely unusual and I knew something was wrong until he pulled the letter out of his pocket and asked – WHAT IS THIS?
  7. 7th grade – I hated my parents for doing this. As they allowed me to independently ride a cycle on the road, they would always send a staff who would ride behind me to ensure my safety. I would explain to them that if I had to fall, I any which ways would. It’s not like he could be a superhero and come to my rescue from anywhere.
  8. 9th grade – The campus life in TVS Matriculation school especially the canteen moments. That’s when Pepsi had launched Blue Pepsi to celebrate the world cup tournament. Having veg Biryani every day at the canteen and digging it inside to find the big chunks of fried bread chunks.
  9. 4th grade – Summer swimming classes at Madurai Corporation. The 5 feet depth was manageable until the coach made it mandatory for everyone to learn swimming in 12 feet depth too. Initially, I would excuse myself and hide in the changing room only to be caught by the coach one fine day.
  10.  8th grade – Right opposite to the house where we lived for quite a long time, there were plenty of apartments (Meenakshi Apartments) and a big playground in the middle. We would play cricket all day long starting right after breakfast and finishing before it would get dark. A couple of families still recall the number of windows that we had smashed with our big hits.
  11. All through high school and college – As friends, we thoroughly enjoyed eating out and mostly junk. We would sneak outside the house with excuses to relish some good food and each other’s company. And do I have to say, we would have to again stuff ourselves with the food that our mum would prepare with so much care and love. Can’t dare to upset mum’s and make them sad! Can we?
  12. 12th grade – Winning the title of Mr.Losa and we couldn’t afford to celebrate it big. My parents were working and they couldn’t attend it. So to make up for that they still suggested we go to a restaurant nearby to have my favorite masala dosa.
  13. Childhood can be a little hard when both parents are working and are often stressed. Not blaming them but as a child, we just can’t see the bigger picture then as we can now as adults.
  14. 8th grade – I once collected all the waste newspapers, plastic bottles, and other waste materials lying around the house. Do you think I was cleaning? That’s what my granny thought. Instead, I brought them all to junkshop in exchange for money and later my sister and I enjoyed a good portion of fried rice and chili parotta.
  15. All throughout school time – We were blessed to have a mother who was always going an extra mile for us to ensure we eat healthy food and stay fit. We were studying in TVS school attending the morning shift. The classes would commence by as early as 7:40 a.m and the bus would arrive at the stop by 6:15 a.m. My mum would wake up by 4 a.m and we would every day wake up to the sound of the mixer going ggrrrrrrrr…
  16. All my life – As a brother and sister, we were more like partners in crime. Helping one another get through difficult situations and team up when our parents would attack any one of us. Making it more difficult for our parents to catch the rat. haha.
  17. Nursery School – I had peed in my pant and the elderly child care lady collected my pants for washing and I was waiting in the bathroom to collect it back. Children are curious and the world knows it, so I turned the right handle and the water flowed from the bottom tap and I was curious to turn it left and was left completely drenched from the shower above me.
  18. College – I must have watched the maximum number of movies on the screen in theatres during my college days. The afternoon lectures would make us feel drowsy after a heavy lunch.
  19. Humor and rumor always had a strong affinity for me. I could crack somebody up so hard that they would pee in their pants laughing and rumors making headlines that I would often be called to the principal’s office or receive thrashings back home.
  20. 7th grade – I had mastered certain skills of riding a bicycle. And the most important was riding free hand. I could even turn the cycle at the corner ends of the road, so I thought I should game up my skill. I pedaled fast and rode the cycle free hand over a bumpy pothole. Well, it landed perfectly fine, skidding on the road and peeling my skin off near the elbow, leaving the mudguard covered in blood and a big scar which I’m still proud of.
  21.  8th grade – I would get down from the bus at our store while returning back from school. That day as I happily walked in, my mum was attending a customer showing her lingerie – big padded brassiere. I had seen them for the first time and I quickly picked it up from the counter and innocently placed it on my eyes thinking it was meant to cover the eyes. Well, obviously it didn’t cover my eyes but a hard slap landed right across my cheek.
  22. College – I had never been away for a long time from my hometown (Madurai) in 18 years. And in order to get better exposure and be independent, I decided to do my Masters in London. One year of my life, managing studies and work, learning many new things was an experience of a lifetime. A toad gets to see the outer world only when he sticks his neck high out of the well. .
  23. College – I started preparing for one of the most competitive exams to get into IIM and that’s CAT. About 6-7  friends we all boarded the train, went to Chennai and sincerely I prayed that my paper should be evaluated by someone young and empathetic who knows how CAT is making lives miserable. And finally, on the day of the result, the screen flashed with 22 percentile. I still don’t know what this percentile is and how it’s calculated.
  24. 9th grade – It was during the Diwali season and as usual, the holidays were always well spent in supporting my parents at the store. But this year, I was high with 104F fever. What was great about it was that I went alone to the hospital, got myself admitted and then came back home. My parents thought I was very brave and I enjoyed every bit of appreciation and attention for a week.
  25. 12th grade – I was always good with studies until 10th board exams happened. With 60% marks, I was already being judged. My parents thought I was distracted, not making use of my full potential, so they changed my school thinking my life would change. Well, they thought my life changed, but for me, the subjects changed and that mattered and I scored 87%. I owe my teachers a big time for this accomplishment.
  26. 6th and 7th grade – Two consecutive summer holidays gone in the drain. The first summer holiday I was diagnosed by Jaundice and in the next year’s summer holidays, it was chickenpox’s turn. Oh God, the itching these chickens caused felt like I was attacked by millions of mosquitoes.
  27. Two of my best study friends with whom I have shared great study time. Badri during my school days in TVS and Abdul during my high school in Mahatma. With Badri, it was more of creative conversations and with Abdul it was pure rote learning, especially Economics.
  28. 3rd grade – I found my grand dad’s shaving kit in the bathroom and I decided to have a shave. I cut myself near the lips, on the cheeks and as I washed my face I started sweating out of fear to step out of the bathroom and show my face to my family. Upon enquiring, I informed my Dad that a boy in my class used a knife while we were fighting. I wasn’t expecting my Dad to come to school the next day and the poor boy was made to stand outside the classroom all day. Not something I’m proud of. But back then, I just wanted to save my ass.
  29. 29. They say change is inevitable. But I didn’t know my parents had taken it to my schooling. Having changed 6 schools in 12 years was fun back then, I was enthusiastic about going to a new class to meet new friends. And the best thing was I ensured that my parents also get to meet the principal of all the schools. haha.
  30. 30. 4th grade – This tops the list because the memory of it reminds me of who I am. Creative, curious, adventurous, determined, happy and hard working. I won 13 prizes in various competitions in a year. Also, the only moment of my school life my parents are proud of.

Ricky Schroder says with regret, “I spent my whole childhood wishing I were older and now I am spending my adulthood wishing I were younger”.

 

Why Mindful Parenting Works?

The Cambridge dictionary explains the meaning of mindful as – deliberately aware of your body, mind, and feelings in the present moment in order to create a feeling of calm.

The word mindful has recently been more in practice in a spiritual context and most importantly it’s widely used in therapeutic mental and physical well-being.

But does it work? Is being mindful as easy as it’s advised?

Now, think for a moment. You stepped into the house and you find your child playing his favorite FIFA game, and the conversation now is something like this:

Kids Screen Time

Mum – Close the game and go study for a while. What’s with this game all the time?

Son – I just started playing mum. It’s been only 20 minutes since I started playing.

Mum – Oh really? Let me ask your sister now. (To check on him).

Son – Don’t you believe me when I’m saying I just started playing now. Now, wait, even if she says I have been playing for more than an hour, I’m not going to shut this down. NO MATTER WHAT. (Son, feels trust issue and is hurt).

Mum – Don’t you dare talk to me like that. I’m going to pull the chord out and lock the game in my cupboard for a week until you learn how to speak and behave. (Mum feels that her son is misbehaving and threatens to use a consequence to display her power).

Do you see how the conversation started with a good intention of asking the son to study but it quickly transcended into trust issues and power struggle between the mother and the son?

Do you think being mindful of the communication or the situation could have had different positive outcomes?

Mindful practice helps a person be attentive and identify when the shift in communication is taking place. It allows the person to become aware of their thoughts and emotions. 

In the above instance, the mother could have paused for a second when the discussion was going off the track. and could have used a positive and constructive choice of words to ensure that her intention of the talk is met – which was to eventually teach her son the balance of play and study. To be a responsible child.

But the whole conversation exploded within minutes without either of them realizing or being aware of their emotions and unable to build the conversation with the intention they had in their mind.

Few Mindful Practices To Avoid Backtalk/ Aggression/ Tantrums:

Be Mindful of your own triggers: When you start being attentive to your emotions and thoughts, you start to realize your own triggers that put you off. This helps to avoid playing the blame game with people around you when you are in a state of stress or anxiousness.

Instead, you start moving inwards, reflecting upon your own problems and refrain yourself from venting unnecessary reactions.

Mindful Breathing For Instant Calm: This sounds silly. It did to me when someone first proposed the idea of deep breathing during instances of stress. How could someone think of deep breathing in the heat of the moment?

You could think of it otherwise. If you have the energy and the time to argue more, stress more or fight more, you might as well consider an alternate response to the situation. Just smile and concentrate on your breath. It’s easy and being conscious and in control of your reaction and response is a strength that very few possess.

Model The Behavior You Want: You can’t ask your children to do something that you don’t do it yourself. I remember an instance when a father asked his child to speak with the staff at a showroom with respect and in return, the son was quick to say, that’s how you talk with the staff in our company. The father replied back with a sharp glare.

I often hear parents advice, scold or threaten a child if they want to teach the child something. But parents fail to understand that, the basic and most essential tool of parenting which has been repeatedly mentioned in renowned parenting books, blogs, videos, research papers, etc is to – be an example. 

So model the behavior that you want your child to learn. If you want them to manage their aggression, their stress, to be responsible and to be confident. You need to show them how it’s done rather than verbally loading them with big lectures and advice sessions.

Apologize when you mess up. It’s ok – No one is perfect: Be quick to put your guns down when you know you are wrong. Again show the child that mistakes are inevitable.

No one is always right. That’s one of the most important lessons in life which you can gift your child.

Else your child will always have the pressure to remain right and good. Prepare the child to handle challenging situations in life by modeling positive and assertive behavior.

The above mindful practices will go a long way in shaping your child’s life and empower him to live a calm and joyful life. Isn’t this every parent’s first wish for their child?

Children playing in the garden on a swing

Mull over what you have read and if you think you can help someone who would benefit by reading this post, please share, because there is nothing more precious than gifting a child a childhood that matters

The Story About The Eagle In Childhood Matters Logo

Everyone around us is making a sincere effort to make this world a better place for the upcoming generations to live. Organizing peace campaign, green campaign, equality campaign, health campaign and any other campaign that you can think of to create awareness for a better society and an environment.

Statistics, on the other hand, does not justify the massive scale of awareness campaigns that are being run. All the effort that we are taking for the newer generations is going down the drain.

Children today are stressed more than ever before, screen time has increased (T.V, computer, mobile or iPad), peer pressure to match the societal status, opportunity to play outdoors has reduced, early exposure to sex and most importantly most of the parents have participated in a selfish and most destructive competition of – My Child Is The Best.

As Dalile shares her brutally honest opinion that, During our insane worship to win the race, during our mad love to become number one, we forget that our society today are raising children that are racing to nowhere.

Brand Logo
The story below also explains the inspiration of the Logo – Childhoodmatters.

So how can we raise children today in a manner where we support and nurture them to grow mentally, physically, emotionally and socially strong?

I found the answer in the Eagle, whose parenting techniques are full of bravery and selfless love. So what is the Eagle doing so differently?

I. She disturbs– the eagle takes good care of her eggs. Once they are hatched, after few weeks she makes the nest a little uncomfortable for the hatching by removing the padding of the nest so the thorns disturb them.

If we need to make our children shift from dependence to independence, we need to be disturbing parents to prepare them to face the real world. We need to refrain ourselves from making their journey easier and empower and educate them to face obstacles.

II. She draws near– When the eagle disturbs the nest, she realizes that she also needs to assure her eaglets that she is there with them. She does this by fluttering her wings and getting close to them.

Similarly, parents need to understand that when our children are caught in the hustle of life and trapped in a whirlpool of stress, they might act or react in aggression or be disrespectful or be irritated.

Parents need to get closer to their children during such situations. Remember – Ignore the behavior but not the child. This helps children with lots of emotional support and trust and they eventually learn to manage their emotions from us.

III. She demonstratesAs the eagle makes her children feel secured when she disturbs them, she also spreads the wings to show them how it’s done. She demonstrates what she wants them to learn.

Every parenting book, philosophy, and speech lays strong emphasis on the first rule of parenting – BE AN EXAMPLE.

It’s rightly said that children learn from what they see and not from what they hear. There is no point in asking a child to stop doing something that you are doing.

IV. She develops themShe then raises high in the sky and tells her children that it’s now their turn to jump and fly and she shakes them off. That’s the way they will learn and develop their skills.

If parents are going to be making every decision, protecting their child every time, they are never going to learn. We need to shake them off and allow them to do things on their own. As parents, we have shown them how things need to be done and now they need to do it for themselves.

V. She’s there to deliver themAs she shakes them off, and the eaglets are falling and falling, the eagle scoops in and picks them up just before they hit the ground. Also, the eagle is there to feel proud when her eaglets have learned to fly.

She is always there for her children to support them only when they are going to crash until then she leaves the children to manage things on her own.

Parents likewise need to be there to deliver for their children by supporting them when they are about to crash and encouraging them when are flying high.

The Eagle’s approach of parenting in essential in today’s world where presents are more important than presence, where playing outdoor has become more expensive than playing indoors and where children are quickly being judged for their performance rather than being appreciated for their efforts.

This perspective of parenting that I have learned from a bird instills hope that if we give our children a childhood full of opportunities to nurture their curiosity, self-esteem, independence, and confidence, there will barely be any need to run those multi-million dollars worth of campaigns.

Kailash Satyarthi hits the bullseye by quoting, “Every single minute matters, every single child matters, every single childhood matters”.

5 TedTalks That Will Help You Raise Successful Kids

“Why do I listen to TedTalks, especially on the subject of parenting?”, my wife asks me with curiosity.

And I say, “most of the speakers out there have experienced different things or have done things differently and their stories, research data, views, findings of their experiments, opinions, and thoughts, they are highly informative and inspiring.”

I strongly agree with what Leila Summers clearly shares, “sometimes the only reason for us to be somewhere else is to see things from a different perspective.”

And TedTalks is one of the many other platforms which I follow to learn, to get inspired and to build on my own existential ideas and thoughts.

I’m sharing my Top 5 favorite TedTalks on parenting:

 #1. When Do Kids Start To Care About Other People’s Opinions? | Sara Valencia Botto

 

This interesting TedTalk provides a deep understanding of why humans are the only species on the planet who are prone to change or tailor their behavior in the presence of others? And this catastrophic behavior starts as early as in an infant who does not even know to speak even one incomplete sentence.

Watch the video to know more about Sara Valencia and Dr.Philips – ‘The Robot Task Experiment’ which is highly insightful about how even as little as an infant, the presence of others has an impact on their behavior and watching those cute little babies play in the video is a delight. 

#2. One Dad’s Mission To Rebuild Bonds Between Kids And Their Fathers | Dwight Stitt

Dwight Stitt’s heartfelt talk is all about bonding with his son and sharing stories of a traumatic childhood and lessons learned from his father.

His passion has successfully led to a successful weekend canoeing campaign where Dwight supports fathers and children to spend quality time canoeing, playing, having meals together in the midst of nature and shares transforming experiences and insightful learnings.

#3. For Parents Happiness is a Very High Bar | Jennifer Senior

Jennifer eloquently expresses her views on how ‘parenting’ as a subject has evolved since the 1960s and the reason behind why this subject today is gaining more attention than ever before is astounding.

In this TedTalk, she offers some great advice and tips on what a modern middle-class family needs to focus rather than focusing on an elusive goal of – ‘raising happy children’.

#4. Nature is Everywhere. We Just Need to Learn to See it| Emma Marris

Emma Marris shares a completely new definition of Nature in this insightful TedTalk and also shares solutions on how can we change our relationship with nature in spite of living in modern, well-equipped urban spaces.

She also beautifully shares why as adults we should encourage our children to touch nature, play, and tinker with it. And she shares her powerful belief that – what remains untouched is unloved.

#5. To Raise Brave Girls, Encourage Adventure | Caroline Paul

Caroline Paul is all about bravery. In a world where parents are constantly scared of their children getting hurt especially girls, she believes that fear is not helping children, it’s hurting their confidence and affecting their decision-making abilities.

She goes on to share how as parents we unintentionally communicate to our kids that girls are fragile and boys are gutsy. She shares lots of stories and examples of how we can raise girls who grow up to become confident and brave.

 

Building Stronger Ties With My Son

There is a famous saying, “you can learn many things from children. How much patience you have for instance” – Franklin P. Jones.

Little infants are cute when their gleaming big eyes are staring into ours.

They are cuter when they giggle and laugh even at the silliest of things like looking at a poster or flashing lights or whilst playing peek-a-boo.

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These tiny little souls are the cutest when they are asleep – innocence radiating from their face and watching them sleep peacefully brings a sense of peace in our mind and soul.

But just as how cute infants are, they can also be a nightmare – screeching, howling, crying and as parents, we are scratching our head, puzzled to figure out what’s wrong with them.

My son is just 5 months old and his wake up smile lits our day. But as much as he lights our lives, he also burns my sleep and patience. One moment he laughs hysterically and the next moment he is bawling.

And his sudden outburst of cry makes me want to hand him over immediately back to my wife or to someone next to me. An initial couple of months that’s exactly what I did until I was told by my friend that,

“When infants cry it’s a vital sign of their mental development because cry is the most important and only medium of their expression and communication in the beginning.

Just like how as adults we reach for water when we are thirsty, similarly infants cry as they search for what they need in the moment. As adults become calm when their thirst is quenched, so do babies.

And as parents or caretakers, the way we respond and manage their cry is critical in building their emotional development. Research proves that when parents/caregivers habitually respond to the infants needs, they are more likely to grow independent and emotionally strong.”

My wife and parents are doing a great job at playing with him and cajoling him, no matter how tired or stress they are. In contrast, my patience takes a back seat when he starts to cry out of the blue. My friend was building new perspectives for me and supporting me in my new journey of parenting.

I had never thought of cry in relation to emotional development. I was aware that infants cry when they are hungry, angry. bored, sleepy and in pain. And most of their cry is unexplained. Decoding the unexplained cry and handling it was being extremely challenging.

As my thoughts started to build on what my friend was just saying, he quickly distracted me by adding,

“Crying allows infants to build close relationships with those who most reliably respond to their needs. In this way, crying may be central in building an emotional bond or attachment of the infant with the parents or other caretakers.”

New thoughts started to emerge on how many opportunities I had missed as a dad in bonding with my son. Quickly passing him around had always seemed like the easiest thing to do.

Well, in parenting as a journey I believe one can’t always be right or be doing things right. It’s a journey of learning and growing together. And I’m greatly thankful to my friend in helping me open new doors of bonding with my son.

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Now when my son cries –

I take him out and together we watch the cars, buses, bikes, and autos moving on the road. 

I make weird sounds and wait until one of it would split his sides.

I throw him high in the air and he giggles cutely.

I talk to him about the day or what people are doing around him and he intently listens for a few seconds before resuming his cry and I have to quickly get back on my toes.

I scatter his favorite toys around him and he leaps onto them like a monkey and is quick to put things in his mouth.

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…… in spite of doing a bit of everything or just one particular thing, if he still cries. I know for sure that he is either hungry or sleepy and oh boy at the end of the day when I go to bed and he is nested comfortably between us, I feel so connected and happy.

The lesson gifted by my friend reminds me of the words of Joyce Meyer who beautifully describes patience as “Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we are waiting.” 

Is Parenting A Skill To Be Learnt?

Every parent has their own journey and their own style of parenting.

No matter how good our intentions are, we will still make mistakes. The fact that those mistakes impact our children is a hard pill to swallow.

And when a parent slaps a child right across those soft cheeks and if I have to ask them, how do you feel hitting your own child? Their usual response always is – I FEEL AWFUL. I DON’T LIKE DOING THAT TO MY CHILD.

So, I ask – Then why did you hit them? And these are the few answers that all the parents often give –

  • If I don’t hit them today, how will they learn? How would they know that this behavior has to stop?
  • I didn’t mean to hit them, but they get so fussy and irritating that I eventually lose my temper.
  • They have to understand that the wrong behavior will have harsh consequences. The hard way of imparting life lessons.
  • I hit them so they are scared and think twice again before doing any such thing again.

Undeniably behind every parents behavior there is a good intention for the child.

And my question is – Is scolding or slapping really helping?

And there are parents who are supportive of their children in every way possible.

I know parents who take loans to ensure that their child studies in an English Medium School. Parents who work hard or already have all the luxuries to provide their children with every comfort and fulfill their demands believing and hoping that this would motivate their children to study, to be responsible, to be appreciative of the privileges, overall to be a good performing child. 

Even behind this behavior, there is a positive intention for the child. And that’s to give them all the support and motivation, so children stay focused on their performances.

In spite of giving them all the resources and support, are children still being irresponsible? Are they throwing more tantrums? Are they able to respect and acknowledge all that you are providing to them?

My question again to you is – Giving children all the support and fulfilling their wishes, is it working?

If the answer to both the questions is NO, then the question is how do we to raise children in a manner where they take responsibility for their own work, nurturing their self-esteem, supporting them in managing their emotions, encouraging them to talk and share everything.

There are different things that we could be trying:

  • Working from our own childhood experiences. Assuming that all that our parents failed to provide us or failed to understand our emotions are things that we would definitely support our children with.
  • Checking with friends and relatives with what they are doing in similar situations.
  • By reading parenting books and articles to build on existing knowledge.

Are the above trials working in real life? Are you able to resolve or manage when your kids act out, misbehave, disrespect or drive you to the brink of insanity disrupting your family happiness and values?

Parenting is definitely an experience that we are very sure and confident about. We have this strong belief that we know our kids better than anybody. But, parenting is less about what you know, it’s more about what the child needs. 

Unarguably we know what’s right and wrong in the world out there, we have more experience of life as adults but the question is how do we understand our children’s need and respect his feelings and also able to guide them in the right direction.

From the list above I would also recommend seeking support from a coach, counselor or therapist to understand the certain research-based techniques which help open up channels of communication to connect with children.

And to be able to support them in a manner where we start experiencing parenting from the same state of connection that we once had when we held our child in our arms for the first time.

The experience of parenting is similar to how a battery functions. The power of the battery would decrease, at times drain but constantly charging is the key to well functioning.

Likewise, in a family, in relationships especially parenting, there could be unpleasant experiences, at times more exhausting and draining experiences but often taking small periods of time to recharge at frequent intervals leaves our battery less likely to die (lose all energy).

The small periods of recharge are the skills, tools, and techniques that we equip ourselves with to build new perspectives & self-skills to connect with our children.

Changing the way as parents we talk and listen to our children, responding and reacting to their emotions – this kind of recharge at frequent intervals will help you experience greater power and a sense of satisfaction in truly building a home that you always dreamt of.